True Blood Recap: “Everybody Wants to Rule the World”

by Sarabeth Pollock:

True Blood Recap: “Everybody Wants to Rule the World”
Original Air Date (HBO): Sunday August 5, 2012
Season 5 Episode 9

Greetings, Fang Nation.  This week when I switched away from the Olympics to tune into our favorite show I was reminded of when the Shifters revealed themselves to the world in the novels.  There was concern that many athletes were shifters, which had people concerned that they had an unfair advantage over normal humans.  In so many ways, I think Charlaine Harris really captured human nature in that moment.  Who cares that your running partner can shift into a cheetah…the real question lies in whether being a half human-half cheetah gives you an advantage on the track.  But I digress.

Last week we were left with Eric’s “oh shit” moment; the realization was hitting him that he might be the only sane man in the asylum.  Seeing Eric Northman worried really gives you pause.

It’s all over the news: Headline, Houston, Texas.  The largest Tru Blood factory in the world is on fire.  Six people are dead.   The whole gang (minus Rosalyn and Kibwe) has gathered around the meeting table to celebrate their first victory by eating the naked man strapped to the table.  The feast is in honor of Lilith.  Russell suggests that they say grace, and he thinks Eric should do the honors.  Eric demurs, and Steve Newlin steps up.  He offers up a lovely little limerick from his human days (bless his heart).  Once the meal has been sufficiently blessed, they all pop their fangs and dig in.

Outside the banquet, Molly tries to get onto the elevator and finds that her Level 3 clearance isn’t enough to gain access.  She can’t leave.  Eric grabs her, and when her fangs pop out in self-defense, Eric reminds her that he’s over a thousand years older than she is, so she needs to put the baby fangs away before he gets pissed off.  Eric has come to her for help, and she hopes he came to her with a plan. Fortunately, she can turn the cameras off so they can speak without being overheard.   He doesn’t want to hear all of the technical details of why they can’t get out.  He just wants a plan.  Molly tells him that they’re “totally fucking fucked,” but she has an idea that will probably get Eric killed.  Eric takes her up on it.  “Sounds perfect.”

Sookie has asked Lafayette to come over to help figure out what she saw in her bathroom.  After a half-hearted attempt to channel the mysterious spirit (“I ain’t Whoopi Goldberg in Ghost,” he says, but he’s prettier), he and Sookie return to her bedroom.  He tells Sookie she still has to pay $100 for the consult, and she asks him to put it on her tab.  Tara won’t return the fifty texts he sends each day (“Bitch, stop texting me or I’ll eat you”).  Suddenly, all of the spirits in Sookie’s house start to contact him.  You can only imagine how many dead people must be floating in her house.  He hears Gran, who admonishes him for his colorful language (“I’m not Gmail for dead bitches”).  Gran expresses happiness that Sookie has fairies watching out for her.  When Sookie presses for more information, Gran says she should sleep on it.  On it?  That would be literally, of course.  There is a memory box under the bed.  Perhaps there are clues inside.

Kenya wants to know if Hoyt is an Obama.  Jessica denies it.  She’s really upset that he’s still missing.  Jason and Andy show up.  The last time Jessica saw Jason, he put a bullet in her head and she bit him.  But there is no animosity between them anymore.  She tells Jason that she felt Hoyt’s fear through their blood bond, and then there was nothing.

We flash to Hoyt being dragged through a barn somewhere, tied up and unconscious.

Sam is at Luna’s, trying to keep her calm.  Luna isn’t feeling the pins and needles anymore, but her body is still trying to recover from being shot.  Sam is on his way to continue the hunt for the Obamas, but Luna doesn’t want to let him go alone.  She has a huge stake in this, including the fact that they shot at her daughter.   She insists that she’s not fragile, and Sam can’t stop her.  And besides that, it’s sexist that he won’t let her go out.  Sam wants to know if it’s still sexist if he’s trying to protect the woman he loves.  This gives Luna pause at the mention of his love for her.  But of course it doesn’t work.  She’s coming with him.

Arlene pleads with Terry.  The last ghost they encountered tried to steal their baby.  Terry says this time it’s different, because there is no question that he shot the Iraqi woman in the head. (Arlene insists that this all happened a long time ago, as if that makes a difference…only Arlene could offer that argument)  Terry wants to offer Patrick a fair fight.  Arlene is the only reason he’s fighting at all.  This was a great Terry/Arlene moment.  You can really see how much she means to him.  He knows that someone will die at the end of this ordeal, but he looks like someone who can take solace in his family and find the strength to fight through them.  He doesn’t look like someone who is about to die.

At Fangtasia, Pam watches the news reports and sees that there are concerns over a shortage of Tru Blood.  Tara carries several cases into the office, hoping to conserve the supply so that Fangtasia can make it for a few more weeks.  (Isn’t it great to see Tara taking initiative in the family business??) Pam tells her that they will serve their supply of Tru Blood in an effort to protect Fangtasia’s human customers, and when they run out they will pretend to mainstream they way they did before humans knew about vampires.  Tara starts to see the connection between the destruction of the factories and the danger it poses to the humans.  Someone is trying to start a bloodbath.  Clearly, Pam is shaken by all of this, but she doesn’t let it show.  She tells Tara that there are two things she stays away from—humans who eat too much fish, and politics.  So for now, they will continue to keep their “heads down, tits up, and keep the Tru Blood flowing.”  Tara can see that Pam is worried about Eric and offers to listen, which agitates Pam.  But as she glances at his photo, her concern becomes even more evident.

Back in New Orleans, Eric confronts Bill about his game.  Is Bill just laying the act on thick, or is he as crazy as the rest of them?  Bill ponders whether or not God is a vampire.  They saw Lilith rise from the blood.  “We were high!” Eric reminds him.  They need to stay away from Lilith’s blood if they are to make it out alive.  Eric can tell that Bill isn’t sure which side he is on.  When he asks if Sookie is just another meal to him, reason seems to return to Bill’s expression.  She is Eric’s trump card.  He knew that mentioning Sookie might snap him out of it.  The only way they can get out of the underground lair is to obtain some of Salome’s blood.   Now that the plan has been set into motion, Eric turns his attention back to the task at hand.  Time to “get back to the slaughter, in the name of God.”

Sookie and Lafayette go through the box.  Sookie finds Jason’s old report card and she notices that retired Sheriff Bud Dearborn’s wife was his sixth grade teacher.  She loved Jason.  Then Sookie sees that Bud was at the crime scene when her parents were killed.  Maybe he knows more about their deaths than was reported.  Hmm.

Jason tells Jessica’s bodyguards not to let her out of their sight, even when she’s “taking a dump.”  Even though she’s still worried about Hoyt, she takes a moment to clue Jason in on one of those things that no one ever asks but everyone thinks about –vampires don’t take dumps.  Jason solemnly promises Jessica that he is working the case, and he will find Hoyt.  Kevin is sorting through their prisoner’s computer while Jason pokes through the box of evidence they found.  He finds a website, www.KeepAmericaHuman.com, that shows the Obamas at work.  They realize that the group isn’t just killing Shifters, they’re burning up vampires.  Andy notices that they are modeling their group after the KKK, which means that they will have a dragon in charge of the group.  Perhaps it was the dragon who captured Hoyt.  Andy and Jason “interrogate” Joe Bob in his cell.  When he won’t talk, Jason attacks him.  Andy tries to stop him, but then Joe Bob starts slinging insults at Andy.  Jason was their idol in high school, he says, and now he’s Andy’s “bitch boy.”  Then Andy and Jason both wail on him, but Joe Bob still doesn’t talk.

While driving down a country road, Alcide has a flashback to the ceremony led by his father, Jackson Herveaux, played to perfection by Robert Patrick (I had read that Robert Patrick was guest starring this season, then I forgot about it, and so seeing him tonight was a very pleasant surprise).  It was time for the Were youth to choose between their human nature and their wolf nature.  Debbie Pelt is there beside Alcide.  Jackson talks about man’s selfish nature, and how he wants everything for himself.  The wolf is always aware of his pack, and he carries the needs of his brothers and sisters with him.  They must choose between being human, or accepting the wolf.  Alcide chooses the wolf, and his father draws a line of blood down his forehead.  Debbie also chooses wolf.  He returns to the present, turning his truck toward Jackson, Mississippi.

At Bud Dearborn’s house, Sookie sips ginger ale and discusses Bud’s life as a retiree.  When she gets down to business about her parents, Bud acknowledges that they were most likely killed by vampires.  Back then, the police didn’t know vampires existed, and so they assumed it was an alligator.  But they had been bitten.  Bud expresses sympathy for Sookie, especially since she has been supportive of vampires.  He points out that vampires killed her Gran, which upsets Sookie, who counters that it was Rene who killed her.  Bud says it was Sookie’s association with vampires that led to Gran’s death.  At this point, Sookie realizes that something isn’t right with Bud’s defensiveness.  He seems prepared for her to read his mind, because when she goes into his mind, he knows she’s reading it.  The name “Warlow” doesn’t mean anything to him, but he’s obviously hiding something else from her.  A woman approaches from behind and hits Sookie with a cast iron skillet, knocking her out.

Andy meets with the press, telling them that President Obama is not in Bon Temps but people wearing Obama masks are leading these attacks.  Sam and Luna show up and tell Andy that they smelled pig poop at the crime scene.  Sam wants to continue helping Andy, but Andy won’t have it with all of the media around: “You turn into a dog, and she turns into you.”

When Arlene shows up at work, Patrick is there with a gun to meet her.  He presses the gun to her head and takes her inside.  Arlene runs through the list of employees who will be showing up to work that day (a list that is rather short…it’s a wonder that Merlotte’s can stay open given that most of the staff is embroiled in some kind of supernatural shenanigans).  She tells Lafayette not to show up for work.  Merlotte’s is closed for the day.

Sookie comes to in a pig sty.  She sees Hoyt in the next stall over.  He’s still tied up, and he’s still unconscious, though Sookie can tell that he’s dreaming that he’s in heaven even though it smells really bad.  She tries firing her fairy beams, but nothing happens.  Just then, an Obama walks in.

Back at the Sheriff’s Office, Kevin notes that Bud previously arrested both of the Obamas.  While they try to figure out what that means, Jason goes off on an existential tangent and says it’s his fault that Hoyt ran off and put make up on and joined a hate group.  He never would have done it if Jason hadn’t screwed his best friend’s girlfriend.  Andy acknowledges that Jason uses his “dick as a compass,” but Andy is guilty of being a bad sheriff.  At that moment, Andy looks at the video and sees that the dragon grandmaster is wearing the boots that Bud Dearborn received at his retirement party.  That means that Bud Dearborn is the dragon!  Across the room, two flies buzz away from their perch.  Looks like Sam and Luna were eavesdropping.

Bud explains to Sookie that Supes have been trying to take over the world, and that he has been keeping files on them for forty years.  It needs to end, and their group is trying to put a stop to it.  Bud’s girlfriend, Sweetie, says that people like Sam Merlotte are buying up real estate, and before long he’ll be buying churches and schools so that children will be raised to follow his kind.  World War IV, she promises, will not be about oil. (I think she skipped World War III….)  When Sookie tries to read into their plans, Sweetie says that Sookie is also a supe.  Hoyt was given a chance, but he “pussied out”.  Bud is trying to protect humans, because they law is only protecting supes and granting them rights while the law gave people like him “cancer in [his] ass.”  Soon there will be flags flying with their faces on them, Sweetie promises.  Sookie is able to figure out that Sweetie, the square-dancing queen, was jilted by a Shifter and that’s what triggered her vengeful rage against them.  Bud feeds Sookie more ginger ale laced with leftover Oxycontin from his colon surgery.

Andy and Jason arrive at Bud’s house with the troops, but the house is empty.  Jason sees a picture of his old sixth grade teacher Mrs. Dearborn.  He recalls that her family owned a pig farm outside of town.  “Pig shit,” Andy confirms.

Terry shows up at Merlotte’s and gets a call from Patrick, who is watching Terry from inside the bar.  Terry goes inside to find Patrick sitting at a booth with a gun aimed at Arlene’s head.  Patrick reveals that he, too, has a family.  He’s about to be a dad (it’s a Christmas baby).  He doesn’t see any other way to end it, but Patrick knows that Terry was always stronger, and a better soldier.  Arlene sneaks up behind Patrick and stabs him.  She grabs the gun and points it at him.

Back in New Orleans, Nora kneels at Lilith’s shrine.  Eric muses that it must be very peaceful for her, but he can’t find that peace because it requires surrender.  Nora teases him that he is still “such a fucking Viking.”  Eric replies that she is no longer a power hungry bitch the way she used to be.  Nora explains that she was after the power that Roman and the Authority possessed, but then Salome introduced her to Lilith’s blood, and the blood gave her a new purpose.  Eric leans close to her.  He doesn’t want to fight her, he says.  They kiss.

Bill is sitting in Salome’s bed while Salome revels in the fact that she will be linked to Lilith forever.  It wasn’t an accident that Bill and Salome were brought together.  They were chosen.  Together they will “birth a new world.”  Bill is contemplative.  Even now, I’m not sure he knows what he wants to do.  “What if I don’t want to be chosen?” he asks.  Salome straddles him, and then he’s on top of her.  He bites her, and when he pulls away he sees Sookie’s face.  She screams as he bites again, and then she becomes the bloody incarnation of Lilith.  Then, just as quickly as Lilith appears, Salome returns.  Her neck is bleeding.  Bill runs a finger along his lips.  He has the blood that he needed

In Bud’s barn, Sweetie and one of the Obamas prepares to make a video to post on their website.  The hope is to make a political statement by feeding pigs to pigs.  Sookie is thrown into one of the pens, unconscious.  One of the pigs shifts into a man.  It’s Sam, and he grabs Sookie and takes her to safety.  Jason and Andy arrive just as Bud is about to attack Sam.  Andy shoots him in the chest.  Jason realizes that Sookie is there, and she tells him to rescue Hoyt from the pigs that had been gnawing on him.  Sweetie flees, and Luna (in canine form) gives chase.  When she catches her, Luna shifts back and pummels Sweetie for all of the harm she has caused the people she loves.  Back in the barn, Jason cradles Hoyt, who is still unconscious and unresponsive.

Patrick is bleeding heavily from his neck.  Either Terry shoots him, or they need to take him to a hospital.  Arlene wants Terry to shoot him.  Patrick talks about his baby, but he tells Terry to do what is right.  Terry wants to know why he says that now when this same man ordered him to shoot a woman in the head.  That wasn’t right.  The woman appears before Terry.  Terry fires the gun once, twice.  “Blood has been paid with blood,” the woman says. “Take what is yours, Ifrit.”  Ifrit swoops down and takes Patrick away.  I do believe that this subplot is over.  Maybe.

Pam and Tara are facing a run on Tru Blood at Fangtasia.  Pam’s hair is crimped again, which makes her look all the more badass when she throws a Goth vampire out of Eric’s chair.  She tells him there is no feeding on humans in Fangtasia.  The vampire replies that the monarchs have lifted the ban on feeding upon humans in public.  Eric Northman is gone, and he has been named as the new sheriff.  He sends Pam flying.  Tara moves to help her maker.  Pam looks numb.

Andy offers to drive Sookie home.  Sam tells Andy that he isn’t the worst Sheriff, especially not after what Bud was doing all these years.  Luna joins Sam and wants to go get Emma and go home.  Oh, if only things were that easy….

A smitten Russell is regaling Steve with tales of his early encounters with wolves in Scandinavia.  To Russell, the wolves were part of his collection.  Naïve Steve regretfully informs Russell that he never had pets growing up, mostly because his father was “allergic to everything except God.”  “Stick with me,” Russell promises with a gallant smile.  I love these two.  There, I’ve said it.  They enter the barn and find JD and his pack celebrating their new pack master.  Russell offers his congratulations to Shreveport’s newest pack master by bestowing his blood upon them.  Russell sees Martha across the barn, cradling Emma (in wolf form) in her arms.  Martha tells Russell that she will never drink his blood, and before she can finish her sentence, Russell has confiscated the squirming Emma, presenting her to Steve as his first pet.  JD watches the scene before him, and he tries to stop Russell from taking Emma.  Russell casts him aside, proving how powerless the wolves are against him.  The blood wasn’t free, Russell laughs.  “Silly dog.”

Alcide finds his father in his trailer.  Jackson is drinking a beer and watching dog racing.  Alcide wants to know how much he has wagered on this race.  Most of his disability check, he learns.  Alcide tells his father that he lost the role of pack master and was abjured by the Shreveport pack.  Jackson looks at Alcide and calls him a lone wolf, just like he is.

Sookie is on her couch, recovering from her ordeal and watching the news.  There have been two new attacks on Tru Blood factories around the world.  Claude, Claudette and Claudija show up.  They look grim.  It would seem that the attacks are not a random occurrence.  Vampires are trying to take over the world.

In New Orleans, Eric ushers Nora into a room, promising to take her “home.”  Molly is waiting.  Molly turns off the security cameras so that they have thirty seconds to make their escape.  Eric drugs Nora and uses her blood to call the elevator.  Bill isn’t there, and they can’t wait for him.  Then Bill shows up (Eric had been worried).  As the elevator doors open, Eric sees Salome standing inside and he calls Bill a “fucking traitor.”  Bill tells Eric he is doing this for him, that they have been chosen.  Cue the music.  “Everybody Wants to Rule the World.”  Eric’s “oh shit” moment has turned into a full-fledged “oh fuck” moment.  He doesn’t offer any resistance as he is taken away.

Three episodes left, Fang Nation Truebies, and to be completely honest, this might be my favorite season yet.  Every time I think I know what’s going to happen, the exact opposite happens.  Has Bill’s tenure as the King of Louisiana gone to his head?  Does he really believe that Lilith is real, and that God is a vampire?  Will Eric seek out Sookie’s help?  Is Pam going to kick Nora’s ass?  What will happen to Molly?  I like Molly.  She’s fun.  I also think that Russell and Steve make a very cute couple.  What will Steve do when Emma turns back into a human?

I’d love to know what you all think.  Let me know…you know how to reach me.  Until next week, Fang Nation!

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DarkMedia contributor Sarabeth Pollock is an avid writer, reader, and pop culture fan.  Follow her on Twitter at @SarabethPollock and check out her blog at http://sarabethpollock.wordpress.com.

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[Photo Credit: HBO]